JP: Martha Graham

Everyone else has posted about it, why not have dear old dad's take on Clytemnestra. Greek Mythological Tragedy - need I say more? For the first 10 or so minutes I was totally lost. Kind of like a blind man in the Amazon Jungle with a Chinese map. I knew where I was, knew a little about ballet, but hadn't a clue about what they were trying to convey on stage.

That is until I noticed that people kept looking up periodically. Here is where my mom was wrong all those years in telling me not copy people. Because, looking up brought clarity!! Way up high they were giving scene subtitles. The Bible is right. Clarity does come from on high! If the ushers had been more proficient in their ushing duties, they would have given us Martha Graham novices a little heads up on this factoid (get it!?!? "heads up!"), wouldn't you think? With this little gem of wisdom, I was finally somewhat able to get a handle on what was going on. Again, I point out that it was a Greek Mythological Tragedy, therefore we have somewhat of an understanding.

I will have to say that I enjoyed it for the most part especially from our 3rd row, dead center, $45 seats that cost us $0.00. Can you say thank you Lord! I could have even passed for a connoisseur of the performing arts. That is until I got the giggles near the end when the dead king came out wearing gold Herman Munster platform boots that were supposed to give the appearance of him floating above the other characters. Did I mention that King Herman had split his too small, tighty, blackie shorts in a very noticeable location visible only from the front (thank you Aunt Jenn for protecting my precious ballerinas' eyes!)? Don't panic. Fortunately he was wearing tighty, whities underneath. But did King Herman change during intermission? Why, of course not!! Must have run out of all that fabric Ashton said that Martha Graham loved.

So, here is my take on the whole plot. King Herman and his friends went off to fight Troy because Prince Paris of Troy had seduced Helen, Herman's sister-in-law, and taken her to Troy. While Herman was away fighting for 10 years (and no, the liberals were not complaining about the length or cost of the war), it seems Queen Lily and Herman's cousin had a little fling. Not to be out done, King Herman was having a fling of his own with Lucille Ball. After the war, King Herman returned and was murdered by Queen Lily and her lover. When their son and daughter Eddie and Marilyn returned, they were so distraught over their father's death that they killed their mother. Makes sense. We think lover boy bit the dust, too, as they threw the knife at him as he ran off stage. He must not be able to fake dying very well. Good dancer, bad dier. So,there you have the Greek Tragedy Clytemnestra in an nutshell.

Just think, all this could have been averted if they all would have kept to their own yards and someone would have sewn up King Herman's shorts!