November 19, 2008

KP: Procrastination

Hello everyone. I have procrastinated long enough on this entry. As many of you know, I am a perfectionist. So, I did not want to journal until I had perfected a writing on what the Lord is teaching me or what is currently going on in our lives. I have been intimidated as I read what others who are much younger than I are writing with such great impact! (Ashley G., Kurt M., Ashton P.) Then I compare my thoughts/writing to the 'pros' like Wes Martin, Dan Diaddigo and...I just don't write at all.

Well, you love me (us) or you wouldn't be reading this. God has called me to this new ministry as part of this family. So I am going to trust that He will equip me to adequately write something that is for someone out there. So here goes....eloquent or not, here are my thoughts today.

We have had an incredible amount of change over the last six weeks. We have completed renovations and updates on the house. We have sifted through 21 years of accumulations and purged ourselves of many unneeded and unused items, passing them on to others who can use them. In this process I have had to come to grips with the fact that I had a poverty spirit and was operating with a poverty mentality. My rationalism was that it was all good stuff and "what if I needed it some day". (With my newest excuse being-especially down the road when we were not officially employed with a 'real' paycheck) Folks, that is greed and hording! I do not need it. I am not using it. I have not used it in quite a long time! This provision was given to me, but I was not passing it on to the ones that were the intended recipients. I was hording "just in case". I was in essence telling my Heavenly Father that I didn't trust Him to be sufficient to meet my needs and that I needed to provide for myself. First of all ,He is sufficient. Secondly, we cannot provide for ourselves but for the grace of God. Most of all, He is my Father. And, just like our earthly father He desires to give us good gifts and to take care of us, only more so because He is the God of the universe. So, the house is cleaned out, many people have been blessed, and I feel a freedom that I cannot adequately describe.

The house is on the market and has had good traffic with good reviews. Now we wait on the Lord's timing for the 'right' buyer. The Lord has begun to raise up our prayer and financial partners. This has been an exciting time for us as we watch Him do that which we cannot do. Faith. I have been praying and asking the Lord for more faith for about 15 months. Interesting isn't it. I liken it to praying for patience. Typically you receive as your answer to the 'patience prayer' trials which are designed to develop patience in and through you. Well, I am seeing that when praying for more faith, you receive circumstances that cannot be solved or achieved in and of yourself. Hence, faith is developed. I have heard some say,"Faith is spelled R-I-S-K". Well, that might be true because on several occasions lately I have thought that faith surely must be a four letter word!

I was reading a newsletter from Tom Schmidt, a missionary acquaintance of ours. The article that caught my attention was "Be Strong and Courageous. Be Strong and Very Courageous". He was talking about change and how that seems to be the buzzword in the political arena now days. He went on to comment on how much he did not care for change but would like to convince himself that it was related to him being older, wiser and more experienced, yet knowing that it was not. (I could not even try that excuse as I have never cared for change.)

He went on to write the thoughts of my heart and I would like to quote this excerpt:
"I wonder how much of my anxiousness finds its roots in fear of the unknown; fear of the 'what ifs'...if we fail, if God doesn't provide, if we get hurt, if it's not what we thought it would be...and the list goes on."
"BUT GOD PRODS THE VERY DEPTH OF MY HEART WITH THIS QUESTION: Am I like the spies of Numbers 13 who chose to be led by fear and concern of what laid ahead of them? Or rather, am I going to align myself with Joshua and Caleb whose report was prompted by faith in God? The God who provided a grape cluster so large that it took two people to carry it upon a pole with pomegranates and figs. The size of the grape cluster indicating the goodness and provision of the Lord, in spite of the woe-sayers surrounding them!"

This old testament story is one place I have been praying into. Lord, give me the faith of Joshua and Caleb in the midst of people with bad reports. We have heard it all! I started writing the things we have heard, but although they are true in the natural, they do not supersede the things of the Lord. Instead I testify to what is true and everlasting: He has called us to be missionaries in such a time as this. His ways are perfect. His timing is perfect. He is good. He is above the real estate market, the banking and loan industries, the stock market, the economy, and the political realm. He owns all the cattle on a thousand hills. He loves us. He will provide for all of our needs. He equips those He calls. He uses the weak.

We all know these truths. Are we going to act and speak like we believe that they are true? What do you believe? Not just what you say you believe, what do you really believe? I have had to ask myself these questions and make decisions. I am choosing to stand on the Word of God, put myself out there in a place of vulnerability before you and everyone else, putting everything as I know it on the line. I am choosing to believe that I have heard the voice of the Lord, been obedient and in FAITH am handing it all over to Him and believing Him to be who He says He is and do what He says He does!

It really boils down to who is your God? Where is your trust? This has been another track I have been on and a topic for a future writing....

I love y'all! I am thankful for you!
Kristian for the Prices