AP: Heart Matters

AP Writes:

Hello all!!!!

I apologize for not writing sooner! My life has been super busy this past couple of months with preparation for the Mystery of Christmas. (We performed this past weekend. It went really well and was so much fun! I'm kind of sad it is over, but relieved to be able to sleep again!) Recently over the past couple of months God has really been highlighting to me the state at which I hold my heart. I often find myself in the prayer room just flipping through different parts of the Bible when verses I've never noticed before will jump out at me, all of them dealing with issues of the heart. I've even had conversations with different close friends about how our hearts are doing.

I was struggling in October/November with really trying to understand my heart and feeling kind of disappointed that I wasn't able to control the emotions of my heart well. I found a verse in Jeremiah that said "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" (Jer. 17:9) I was reminded that my heart was human, and that if I followed what my heart was 'feeling' then I was following things that were untrue. I found the verse that said, "Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the Lord your God." (1Chron. 22:19) I realized that we are supposed to give ourselves in our day to day business. Even though our hearts are wicked, God still really wants them!

He even knows the secrets of our hearts. Which, honestly, could be a little scary for most of us if we stop and think about it. God knowing everything we think........everything. It makes you not want to think! =) "God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." That would probably be my prayer right now. That in everything, through everything, that my gaze would be such that I would depend on God to sustain my heart. He should be the strength of my heart......He's the one who created me. I have nothing that I could give Him in return for His sacrifice for me. He deserves every second of every day.

It also says in Matt. 5:8, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." Doesn't that make you want to go get your heart in check? I mean, who wouldn't want to see God? I love how blunt the Bible is. It tells you what to do in order to get desired results. Only, they aren't things we can do on our own......we have to depend on His guidance. =) Colossians 3:1 is also encouraging because it says, "Set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God." God wants us to meditate on Him. How cool is that? Our job is to think about Jesus. =) I also like Phil. 4:7 which says that the peace of God will guard your heart and mind. The thought that God's peace will guard our hearts is so comforting to me because that means I don't have to be in control! He leads my heart!

One day during this past week, I was putting my makeup on for the show and Uncle Matt came up while fixing his suit/costume and asked me a few questions. I love it when he asks me questions because it always makes me think. He wants to know what's going on deep in the heart, not just the surface. I love that about him! =) He was asking me about my heart and how my life was going. Through our conversation I was reminded that the matters of the heart are so extremely important! We should hide ourselves in Christ. (Col 3:3)

I also really like this quote. It would be so cool if this were the case of the guy I end up marrying! =)

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her."

Max Lucado

Hope to write more later!

Ashton =)